Walk Over the Pain, Onto Tomorrow
by Hasty
Summary: Yoruichi knows that Urahara won't grow up if she keeps protecting him. It's time for her to atone.


**Am I rich, famous, and rapidly earning the hatred of my fans by messing up/killing/ wounding/ almost all the good guys? Nope. Post War, mild spoilers, speculation fic. Theme: Dear You- Feel (Mion's mix) from Higurashi No Naku Koro Ni. The last four lines are taken from that song- don't own that either.**

"_Yoruichi Shihouin, for her service to the Seireitei, will be given a full pardon. We also ask that Shihouin-hime consider resuming her post at Second Division."_

Yoruichi had read the scroll at least a dozen times. She didn't feel any more forgiven, especially not by herself. Soi Fong, her adorable little student, was still recovering, but she'd never be able to return to Second Division. Marichiyo Oomeda hadn't returned to Seireitei alive.

So many others, wounded, dead, disappeared, and all because of Kisuke Urahara and Sosuke Aizen. Those small children that Kisuke sent to the Seireitei were now all men and women. Sosuke had made soldiers out of them.

She could hardly tell the two apart anymore. Kisuke had developed the original hogyoku, while Sosuke had developed only a prototype. Kisuke's creation had caused Matsumoto, Kuchiki-jo, and Inoue to suffer wounds, trauma and all sorts of hardship.

Yasutora, Kusajishi, and Kurosaki hadn't even been born when Sosuke began his schemes, but they'd suffered too. The only reason Yasutora had such odd powers was because of the hogyoku. Kisuke had made the Vizards bring him to Japan, tearing him away from the place he called home. Kusajishi'd gotten off lightly: she'd lost her family, but Zaraki-taicho'd never neglected his duty to her and kept her safe from harm. Kurosaki'd lost both parents in the war and the opening skirmishes, and gained any number of scars.

(And they'd all grown up too quickly.)

True, it was all because of Sosuke's intentions, but she couldn't trust Kisuke anymore.

Which of those men was kind, and which one was the cruel one? Would Kisuke have done what Sosuke did?

She remembered when they were children, and she'd met steadfast Tessai and mercurial Kisuke, who'd agreed to serve her and follow her for all time. They were a pair of Rukon rat-brats, and she was a princess, but they quickly became good friends. She'd persuaded her parents to let them serve in the household.

They and Kuukaku had gotten into so many scrapes! She and Kisuke had been the brains, thinking up dozens of schemes and pranks. It wasn't surprising that when they became older, they only got closer.

She remembered when Kisuke had mastered bankai. He came to her, smiling so broadly, that her heart fluttered. She'd loved that about him,that he went into things full tilt, and damn the consequences. Even the most recalcitrant shinigami couldn't help but admire him for it.

He always smiled and hid his intelligence, so many shinigami, even his own student and his inherited vice-captain, deemed him frivolous. But they were always won over in the end.

She'd loved all those things about him, back when she was a girl who refused to grow up. But now.. the Seireitei was in shambles because of him. When she looked at him now, she kept seeing Sosuke instead.

She'd been a child for two centuries now. It was a luxury she couldn't afford. As long as she and Tessai protected Kisuke, he wouldn't grow up. He'd keep making dangerous toys, and another Sosuke would realize what they could be used for. Or he'd use them, and this time, she'd be forced to stop him.

It was time she got serious. She needed to rebuild the Second, find Oomeda's replacement, and eventually, find a husband and settle down. Her children would have to continue her work, to erase the damage her indulgence had done.

88

"Kisuke," she asked, that evening. "Can I have a minute?"

"Certainly," he smiled, and she wavered. Just the heat from his smile nearly melted her resolve. But she stood firm. She knew her sins, and it was time to atone for them.

"I've decided to take up command of the Second again, with Ayasegawa Yumichika as my vice-captain."

She sent a mental apology to Byakuya Kuchiki. Once again, she'd stolen something from him.

"Oh. Congratulations. This doesn't change anything, right?"

"It changes everything. I'm sorry, Kisuke, but this is goodbye."

She shunpoed away before the tears began to fall. But to protect this place, she had to make sacrifices.

Her life, her heart, compared to what others had lost, were small pale things in comparison. It hurt like hell, but she'd been there before. She would be there again, if Kisuke didn't change.

_It's past time for you to grow up, Kisuke._ _Our paths won't cross anymore. I hope you'll figure out why I did this, before you destroy the Seireitei again._

_**888**_

_Two people held the same mind _

_You and I were one_

_Something that two people got by becoming one_

_This wasn't what we had wanted.._

_**888**_

_**Er. Yeah. This will make much more sense if you look up the music and lyrics on Youtube. I'll post links if anyone's interested.**_

_**I hope you enjoyed it. In the meantime, I'll attempt to resucitate my funny bone. Reviews are always appreciated. **_


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